The last hurrah! Team Scorcher match report. April 2015.

/ / news, smouldering ember

Scorch BEachSo the final triathlon of the season, the team event was held in the middle of winter. Daryl, it is halfway through April and we had our first cold snap last weekend! Sort it out. However, the Mercurial Angels organised another Scorching Stunner. It is great when these idyllic Wellington days are put on for our athletic endeavours.

Ember went random for the team tri as he/she has no mates and had a team allocated to him/her. This is good as it is always nice to talk to different people. Thanks for being a part of my team but you do not know who you are!

As per usual, on receiving the race pack, Ember immediately rummaged around to dig out the bar of chocolate. However, instead of chocolate, it was wet wipe toilet paper pack. Was I the only one who got them? Who knew the perfect complement to a triathlon port a loo and a curry the night before was some of these gems!  Mmm fresh. By the way, pre-race curry was fish madras cooked myself. It really worked as a pre triathlon food, better than pasta. Anyway, I am keeping my Kleenex flushables in my kit bag for that just in case moment when miles from anywhere event. You know what I mean. It is like a spare tube. You carry it a round for ages as spare baggage, doubling the weight of your 10 grand 10 gram bike. Like a puncture you are please you carted them around.

Race day, Ember was in wave three. This has the advantage of not having long to wait around for prize giving, but disadvantage of seeing the wave A competitors sit back, have a massage, a coffee and a sausage telling you how cold the sea is. There is no justice in this world. The race today was a bit of a blur for me. Seemed to be over quite quick. It was just one lap swim, one lap bike and one lap run? I seemed to be doing rather well at one point. I did not really listen to the pre-race brief. Something about swimming, cheese and hobbits, I think. Angel may or may not have mentioned something about laps but I was distracted. Probably wondering if Gewürztraminer is truly the best wine match with a Rogan Josh. I think it could well be. Suddenly my day dreaming was shattered as I was bundled towards the sea by many others with the task in hand, i.e. a triathlon. Yep, it was cold. But it was all over in 20 minutes as I staggered from the sea to transition and my bike. Bike was easy for everyone behind me as I heard someone say draft behind the big guy as they leeched pace from my first lap to enhance their second. After another 40 minutes, back into transition only to discover someone had stolen my shoes. Prime suspect is J. Turner as he has previous form on this type of transition skulduggery. Bare foot, Ember completed the run leg in 52 minutes. Committed to the team. Ember did ok in his/her team, although did manage to drag his/her team from a podium finish, to being almost disqualified for missing the time limit. At least I completed. And maintained anonymity. By the way, the Vindaloo stain on my tee-shirt was the big give away today. Anyone spot it? Think back.

Angels have managed to put up provisional results before Ember posts the match report. I have had a quick look to see how my team got on. On perusal, it seems team Smashed ‘Em Bro won. Who else is perturbed by the fact that combined age of the winners at 49 is less than their own age? Well done Smashed ‘Em Bro. However, you smashed a load of old farts who can only get around the course at a leisurely pace thanks to assistance of excessive pain killers while we wait for various joint replacements. However, we will have the last laugh as you pay your taxes for the pleasure of our retirements. Thanks Smashed ‘Em Bro.

Anyway, it is the end of another glorious Wellington summer as far as Scorching Triathlons are concerned. Thanks everyone who took part, volunteered or was a part of the organisation team, i.e. Angel 1 and 2 et al. I have really enjoyed the 2 events I completed and the other 4 I thought about. Remember there is an end of season do at a bar somewhere in Wellington soon. Daryl or Keri did give details at the prize giving but seeing as I do not pay attention to pre-race brief, I am unlikely to pay attention to prize giving announcements. Reminds me of my school report card. “Must try harder and pay attention.” Thank you Mrs. Bumblebonnet for your confidence in me.

Some goodbyes. Angel 2, (or is it 1?) is buggering off to Denmark, (or is it Sweden?) I am quite pleased about this as Keri Bloomfield is Chief of Transition Police. No more telling off me off for minor transgressions. Applications for the role can be forwarded to Angel 1. Must provide their own megaphone. Not true about being pleased, you will really be missed by a lot of people Keri, especially big brother Daryl. Hope all your travels are enjoyable and successful. Please come back now and again to tell me off.

At the sharp end of the triathlon competition, Tony Buckingham, aka Ranging Bull is off to Canadia with Celine Evans. For Tony, this is a somewhat over-reaction to getting beaten in a couple of times this last season. For Celine, she has realised her ‘Nutrition 360’ qualified sensible nutritional advice is not as much fun as my gastronomic triathlon pick me up of curry, beer and chocolate. I think this could leave an opportunity for myself to provide nutritional advice for athletes based on a curry theme. This would involve Ember taking the winner of the nutritional advice prize to a curry house and match curry with a beer. Obviously, if this is done on a Friday night, there is only one traditional choice. Ridiculously hot chicken Vindaloo washed down with 10 pints of lager. Perhaps if I listened to Celine when she guided me around a supermarket I too would be at the sharp end of Triathlons. Like Keri, you are both a part of the Scorching phenomenon and will both be missed.

Another season is over. A short break then duathlon series in a few months. Next year will be the 100th Scorcher. This will be a great milestone for everyone involved and the opportunity to do a half big tri distance. Here it is. “I Smouldering Ember, having never done the ½ distance will do my first ½ next January.” Who’s with me?

Signing off for the end of another season.


Disclaimer. I might have said something which I will later regret so I did not really say it. I was not paying any attention to what I was writing. Who reads this rubbish anyway?


Smouldering Ember.

April 2015


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1 Comment to “ The last hurrah! Team Scorcher match report. April 2015.”

  1. OB1 says :

    Good on yer mate.
    Another Scorcher 1/2 Newbie!